Family Research Council says gay parents shouldn’t be protected from parental kidnapping

A bunch of jerks conservative lobbying group called the Family Research Council has issued a statement saying that gay people don’t have the right to keep their kids from getting kidnapped by the non-custodial parent.

The case they’re talking about is that of Isabella Miller-Jenkins, whose two moms conceived her using a sperm donor and artificial insemination. Then the moms split up, the bio-mom getting primary custody and mom #2 getting visitation. But bio-mom found religion, renounced homosexuality, and decided she didn’t want Isabella to have anything to do with her other mother. She refused to abide by the visitation agreement, and after awhile the judge got fed up and awarded custody of Isabella to mom #2. At which point bio-mom took the child and vanished.

That was three years ago and no one seems to know where either of them are. From this New York Times article from last summer:

Isabella Miller-Jenkins has spent her last three birthdays on the run, “bouncing around the barrios of Nicaragua,” as one federal agent put it, a lively blond girl and her mother trying to blend in and elude the United States marshals who have traveled to the country in pursuit.

She can now chatter in Spanish, but her time in Nicaragua has often been lonely, those who have met her say, long on prayer but isolated. She has been told that she could be wrenched from her mother if they are caught. She has also been told that the other woman she once called “Mama,” Ms. Miller’s former partner from a civil union in Vermont that she has since renounced, cannot go to heaven because she lives in sin with women.

This makes me no more and no less angry than any other parental abduction case. Whatever you think about gay marriage, evangelical Christianity and so on, Lisa Miller broke the law, yanked Isabella out of her life and took her on the run, and deprived her of a relationship with a woman who had loved her from the day she was born. There’s nothing Christian about that and I’m pretty sure Jesus (who never said ANYTHING about gayness that we know of) would not approve. Lisa Miller said she believed Janet Jenkins should only be considered Isabella’s “friend” rather than her mother, but as Janet pointed out, people don’t pay child support for their friends.

The Family Research Council is saying that because the gay parent has no biological relation to the child, they should have no rights. But, as the article points out, quoting Queerty,

Queerty points out that parenthood has never been solely about biology, however.

“Millions of straight Americans adopt, foster, use surrogates and IV treatments, and otherwise parent kids that are not biologically related to them,” Queerty’s Dan Avery writes. “Including, we can only assume, members of the FRC.”

A commenter on the article has something interesting to say:

I wonder if these guys know how often they push otherwise un-involved people towards the side of marriage equality. I’ve always thought LGBT rights should be equal, but truth be told I never actively involved myself until I started hearing these folks’ statements about “biological” families and their superiority to all other families. I’m not LGBT, but I am adopted. It made me think, if my family as an adopted family, could be relegated to “lesser than” based on religion, out-dated studies, and personal opinions….then what must it be like to already be relegated to lesser than with fewer rights and protections for one’s family. As soon as that thought entered my mind, my activism level shot way up.

13 thoughts on “Family Research Council says gay parents shouldn’t be protected from parental kidnapping

  1. Peter Henderson March 12, 2013 / 2:13 pm

    No coment, just a link to a girl I once loved.

  2. forthelost March 12, 2013 / 2:32 pm

    I got into a big argument with one of those people on facebook once. He insisted I’d never support Janet Jenkins if she were a man (because presumably she’d be different than the eighty fathers I know in the same situation I do support). He was also shocked that I didn’t care what consenting adults did in bed.

  3. K.B. March 12, 2013 / 9:40 pm

    The court systems are supposed to be concerned with the best interests of the child, not the sexual orientation of the parent. Sheesh!

  4. Margie March 13, 2013 / 12:47 am

    Oh, IMO those Family Research Council are vile! I moved from SoCa to a small town in East Texas and when looking for a talk radio show here, I came across American Family Radio where I heard of FRC. (Can’t bring in any other talk radio show) I listen to them a bit to see what they are complaining about. It made my blood boil to hear them talk about Lisa Miller. I have been for gay rights since the 90’s. (I don’t remember it being called LBGT back then) Never active though, raising my kids. After moving to Texas and learning about rabidly anti-gay Christians I started researching LGBT issues and now I read Joe.My.God to keep up-to-date. I try to be active, but nothing to do here to show support in my tiny town. I make small donations when I can. I would say I was pushed by FRC and other groups like them to become more active. Had no idea they existed when I was in Calif. Too many good talk radio programs to listen to. I was raised by two people who never legally adopted me. It was not good. I told my husband I would love to have two daddies, or two mommies or just one parent as long as they wanted me and loved me. Which I did not recieve growing up.

    Rant Over

  5. SB March 13, 2013 / 1:42 pm

    I’m totally with you on your take on the matter.

  6. Kim March 13, 2013 / 5:47 pm

    if both women were legal mothers to the child then it shouldnt matter what sex they were. Kidnapping is kidnapping. Mom #1 is a hypocrite and a bad mom.

    • Amor March 14, 2013 / 10:23 pm

      Only the bio mom is the legal mother. Apparently, Mom2 never adopted the child.

      • Meaghan March 15, 2013 / 1:29 am

        But the two moms were civilly-unioned (is that a word?) at the time, and that’s the only reason Mom2 didn’t adopt her. She didn’t think she had to, any more than the husband in a married couple has to legally adopt her children that were born during their marriage.

  7. Bobby Sailor March 15, 2013 / 12:38 am

    So someone doesn’t agree with you, has the audacity not to share your opinion, and so they are a “bunch of jerks.” How tolerant of you- stay classy.

    • Meaghan March 15, 2013 / 1:28 am

      I don’t believe all people who disagree with me are a bunch of jerks. I have plenty of close friends who disagree with me on a wide range of issues. But I still think the Family Research Council is a bunch of jerks.

    • Meaghan April 25, 2015 / 3:44 am

      I have no idea if you’ll ever read this, but I thought of your comment again today when I watched a YouTube interview with the FRC president who thinks the death penalty for gay people is appropriate.

  8. Sibyl March 15, 2013 / 7:32 pm

    Fathers of children conceived through IVF don’t have to adopt a child in order for it to be considered their child. Why shouldn’t this standard be true for anyone who is in a civil union/marriage who has children? It’s a shady double standard, and what this mother is doing is as wrong as it would be if she had been in a heterosexual relationship.

    Also, the FRC are a bunch of jerks. I will back you on that one, Meaghan.

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