Zachary Ramsay now legally dead

Over the objections of his mother, Zachary was declared legally dead today. His father filed the petition earlier this month, seeking “closure” and also wanting to collect on Zach’s $20,000 life insurance policy. Mom insists that Zach is still alive. I think she’s a tad delusional.

Zach has been missing since 1996, when he was ten years old. Authorities have good reason to believe that he was butchered and eaten by super-scary [alleged] child serial killer Nathaniel Bar-Jonah, who was responsible for God knows how many deaths over the years. Bar-Jonah was actually charged with Zachary’s murder, but the charges were dropped for lack of evidence, in part because of Zachary’s mother’s campaigning. Fortunately, Bar-Jonah is no longer wasting oxygen; he died in prison in 2008. He was in prison not for murder, but for sex assault. I don’t think he was ever convicted of a single murder, but they know he did a lot of them. Zachary appears to have been one of the last, maybe the very last.