Jayme Closs and other things

So I’m on a downswing, in terms of my mood. I’m bipolar. This is my life and it will never change, though the five psychiatric medications I take daily mitigate the downswings.

It’s just been kind of hard to get anything done. I will decide to do some thing or other, then I’ll find myself just sitting there staring into space as I’m trying to get myself to move. Even something as simple as picking an object up off the floor.

The Jayme Closs thing has kind of gotten to me. Of course I’m delighted that she’s been found alive. That’s not what’s getting to me; that part’s great. What’s getting to me is what some people have been saying. It’s really hard not to take that personally because of what happened to me back in the day.

(If you haven’t read that far back in my blog, what happened to me is this: in 2009, while I was on a trip to Virginia, I got lost and a stranger offered to give me directions. Instead, he took me into the woods and beat the crap out of me and raped me multiple times. Then he gave me the directions he’d promised and let me go. In the aftermath of the attack, there were a bunch of people on the comments section of this blog, and in email, who accused me of making the whole thing up for who knows what reason. It was very hurtful, obviously. After almost a year the rapist, a serial offender, was identified through DNA and he’s since been deported.)

I was just writing on here about how people can make speculations online about cases, speculations with no evidence to support them, and how this isn’t helpful and can indeed be harmful, especially if the victim or their family sees it.

And some people are doing that about Jayme Closs now. They’re outright accusing her of the murder, or at least complicity to the murder, of her own parents. And the police have said they believe her abductor acted entirely alone, and that he did not know Jayme (who, I will point out, is thirteen years old), and that he had been stalking her, and that Jayme is a victim and not a suspect.

These people think they know better than the cops, I guess. Why? Because Jayme took a selfie after her reunion with her aunt and dog. Because she was clean and looked okay in the selfie. Because she was smiling.

OF COURSE SHE WAS SMILING. She’d just been reunited with her dog and what’s left of her family, after she thought she’d never see them again, and the monster who did this to her is locked up! Why shouldn’t she smile? Why wouldn’t she have gotten herself cleaned up, showered etc.?

At what point is a crime victim “allowed” to smile and act happy and still be considered a “legitimate” victim?

One of the so-called reasons people were calling me a liar about my rape was because I didn’t act “traumatized enough” to suit them, when in fact they didn’t know the first thing about it. They were only seeing words on a screen, on my blog.

And so some people, on the basis of a “feeling” or a “hunch”, and a photograph, are making dreadful accusations against a thirteen-year-old child who saw her parents get murdered and who spent the last three months, I’m assuming, as Jake Patterson’s sex slave, thinking every day would be her last.

Frankly it makes me sick. I hope Jayme’s aunt and other caregivers make sure she does not see those accusations. I’m not seeking them out myself, but when they get posted on the Charley Project’s Facebook page I kind of have to read them, though I delete them as quickly as I can.

At last

I have finished the entire backlog of resolved cases. Normal updates should resume tomorrow or maybe the next day.

I had forgotten how crazy some of the resolves were. This was quite the trip down memory lane.

Also, the house has a lovely new vinyl wood-look floor. Michael and his friend hammered down the trim today. Now we just have to put all the furniture back.

Got back to early 2013

I’ve put up everything through the Resolved89 list, which dates back to early 2013-ish. I tend not to recognize the names but I do recognize the photos of people. It seems the stories of recoveries are as varied as the stories of disappearances.

I want to emphasize that I am NOT going to keep those resolved cases updated. By which I mean, what I put down in the resolved notice is whatever I know at the time, usually right after the person has been found or identified, and I don’t plan on updating that to reflect things like autopsy results, arrests and so on. I’ve got enough on my plate as is.

The back of my right shoulder has pretty well seized up from all this typing and repetitive motions: copy, paste, copy, paste. I’m trying to stretch it out as best I can, and I have applied extra strength Tiger Balm and taken Meloxicam, which is the strongest stuff I have nowadays. I miss the days when, eight or ten years ago, you could go to the doctor and they could give you something for pain that would actually work.

Michael’s parents were over today as they usually are on Saturdays, and they gave me a birthday cake and a card. Shopping for presents with them was kind of problematic last year, so I asked them just to pay my dry cleaning bill instead, and they did. The cost was about the same as they would have spent on my gift.

My psychiatrist had prescribed a new medication last month to help deal with my anxiety, and I think it’s finally started working. I managed to survive lunch with Michael and his parents without even one episode of rocking or hyperventilating, and I don’t think I’ve managed that in years.

Resolved cases progress report

So I’ve added ten pages of old resolved cases, from Resolved 110 to Resolved 99. There are supposed to be thirty resolved cases per page, but with a few exceptions, I’m not putting up the resolved runaway and family abduction cases.

Resolved cases that connected to each other, get linked to each other. Same with resolved cases that are connected to a current case.

Frankly I’d rather be doing something else, particularly on my birthday — I’m 33 today, hooray — but I want to get this done and over with so I can get back to my regular routine.

Coming back by popular demand: the old resolved cases

Wellllll, I’ve been nagged one too many times about re-posting the old (pre-redesign) resolved cases, so I’m going to do that, starting in reverse chronological order. As in, I’ve started adding the cases that were resolved early this year, just before the website got redesigned, and I’ll be going backwards from there.

The only resolved notices I will NOT be putting up are most of the runaways and family abduction victims who were found safe. They don’t need that in their lives.

I don’t know how long this is going to take to complete. I’ve barely dipped my fingertips into it and I’m already bored to death.

The strange death of Cerilla Doyle

I discovered that skeletal remains found in Mason City, Iowa in May of this year have been identified as Cerilla Ann Doyle, an ex-cop from Bentonville, Arkansas who disappeared from there in the autumn of 2008.

Investigators note there is “no indication of foul play.” Mason City is over 500 miles due north from Bentonville.

I’ve gotta wonder what happened and I don’t have much. Cerilla’s husband had died several months before her disappearance, after a long illness, and there were reports that Cerilla was suicidal, but her family denied this. Why did she leave Bentonville and leave all her things behind? What brought her to Mason City? Did she know anyone there? Did she deliberately go there to die?

Unless her family decides to disclose further information, I suppose we’ll never know. RIP Cerilla.

Some more photos and APs

I was checking all my runaway cases the other day and wound up purging quite a few as no longer with the source site and probably recovered. I also found some more photos and age-progressions of people. As follows:

  1. Erika Brown (age-progression updated)
  2. Krystyn Rae Dunlap (age-progression updated)
  3. Francheska Sugel Martinez (age-progression updated)
  4. Misheila Sugel Martinez (age-progression updated)
  5. Tavis Robertson (seven new photos)
  6. Lutricia Steele (one new photo)
  7. Luzmeida Vargas Damazo (one new photo)

I’m a bit unsure about Tavis Robertson. I found this article saying a Tavis Robertson, age 18, was murdered in New Orleans last year. The Tavis on my site would have been 18 last year, and he’s missing from Gretna, Louisiana, which is right next door to New Orleans, and it was said that he might be in New Orleans.

Unfortunately I can’t find a photo of the Tavis who was murdered, to compare to the one listed as missing.┬áHe’s still listed as missing on the NCMEC, but the NCMEC has proven itself to be notoriously unreliable when it comes to removing resolved cases.