Random thoughts while updating

So, on a regular basis, I encounter what I call “dead ends”: cases where I start writing up a casefile and then it turns out that, contrary to the source, the person either isn’t missing anymore or they disappeared significantly later than the date stated and haven’t been missing long enough to qualify for the Charley Project.

I encountered one of those today. The Virginia State Police database says a certain woman named Kelsey disappeared on August 8, 2021. So I wrote up a bare-bones starter casefile for Kelsey, then began looking for more info. I then found a flier for her on social media that said she disappeared in October 2021, not August.

But the flier said “according to her boyfriend”. This wording made me wonder if there was suspicion that he was involved, and perhaps no one other than him claims to have seen her between August and October. So I didn’t immediately delete the casefile but looked further. I entered her name into an arrest records database and discovered she’d been arrested on October 19, 2021. I was then satisfied that, regardless of what the Virginia State Police say, whatever happened to Kelsey happened in October and not August. I then sighed and deleted the casefile I had just made.

The date may not be the only thing wrong about her listing on the Virginia State Police missing persons page. The VSP says she has a tattoo of a heart on her cheek, but her mug shot on the arrest database (a photo taken just days before she disappeared) showed no such tattoo. Either it was a very recent tattoo or it doesn’t exist.

A case off the VSP site that I DID add today was a missing guy who, it turns out, is a Nazi. He made no effort to hide this, getting multiple swastikas tattooed on his collarbone/shoulder area and the letters “SS” on his throat where everyone can see. His personal Facebook page also has a lot of Nazi stuff on it.

I have never encountered such a person in real life and am not sure how I would behave if I did. Try to avoid them as much as possible, I guess. I remember once, back when I had a regular job working at a store, and I was a little friendly with one of my coworkers… until, while we were having lunch together in the break room, she casually dropped a racial slur into the conversation like it was nothing. I was like “Um, excuse me, what?” Then she, thinking I hadn’t heard her properly, repeated the racial slur slightly louder than before. I mumbled something like “You shouldn’t say things like that” and after that I made sure to eat my lunch alone, with a book out and my shoulders arranged in my very best “do not disturb” posture.

Not every missing person or crime victim was a nice person. I try very hard not to judge because the important thing is to find them. If I’ve added child rapists to the Charley Project I can’t very well turn my nose up at Nazis.

The Nazi guy happened to have the same first and last name as someone else already on the Charley Project. (Different middle name, thank goodness.) I wound up accidentally stumbling across more info on the case of the non-Nazi missing person while I was looking for info on the Nazi, so I updated his case too.

On the covid front: I tested myself again today to see if my husband has given it to me yet. Nope. So it’s another night sleeping on two dog beds for me.

8 thoughts on “Random thoughts while updating

  1. Vincent August 10, 2022 / 1:15 am

    To hell with Christopher Shane Sexton, the Nazi. That is one sick, perverted ratbastard. I’m glad he disappeared. I hope all the other Nazis disappear too.

    • Meaghan August 10, 2022 / 3:30 am

      When law enforcement put out a press release about his disappearance they used an older, very poor quality photo even though more recent ones were available. I think this may have been deliberate, since recent pics would have shown that SS tattoo and people seeing the press release would have had the same reaction you did.

  2. Dawn Marie August 10, 2022 / 4:51 pm

    Maybe they meant butt cheek? Though if so they ought to have said buttock. Or maybe they meant chest and someone was in a big hurry typing it up.
    I’ve learned not to let stuff like what your co-worker said slide. I’m not going to get in a fight, but I say right out that I do not and will not tolerate that kind of language from anyone and I don’t want to hear any excuses, and then I cut them dead. I’ve lost a few people I thought were friends over the years but I don’t regret it. I won’t be associated with that kind of thing; to stay silent about it is to condone it. You did the right thing.
    As for the one Mr. Sexton, I’m sorry for his family that he’s gone but also sorry they have to know what kind of person he was. Maybe they are just like him or maybe not and if they’re not I hope they come to realize they lost him a long time before he actually vanished.

    • Meaghan August 10, 2022 / 4:54 pm

      I don’t think Sexton had much to do with his family, seeing as how they didn’t report him missing for over two years.

      The alleged tattoo, if it existed, was on Kelsey’s face cheek. I know cause VSP says “below her right eye.”

    • Meaghan August 10, 2022 / 5:31 pm

      Oh, and regarding my coworker, I actually kind of regret how I handled the situation. The wording she used wasn’t a super-obvious slur, not the N-word or anything, and it occurred to me much later that she may not have realized what she was saying was wrong. She was not an educated person but she also wasn’t an idiot and it seems like maybe she wouldn’t have used the word twice in a crowded workplace break room if she had known it was a racial slur that she could have gotten in trouble with the bosses for.

      I wish I had confronted her directly and been like “Do you realize that what you just said is a slur” because what if she didn’t know? For example, I was an adult before I realized the word “gyp” meaning “to cheat” is a slur against Romani people. I remember finding this out, feeling a little horrified and frantically searching my memory to see if I’d ever said it myself.

  3. Dawn Marie August 10, 2022 / 5:24 pm

    Ouch. I don’t care much for tattoos but on the face they always look stupid and must hurt more than most other places.

  4. Dawn Marie August 11, 2022 / 10:11 am

    The whole Gypsy/Romany thing is very complicated, because the people we usually now call Roma often prefer the term Gypsy. Kind of like how many Native Americans prefer the term Indian; there’s a newspaper or news magazine called Indian Country for instance.
    I know gyp is offensive, but I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve run across it and I’ve never actually heard it spoken in conversation, always read it in usually old books.

    • Meaghan August 11, 2022 / 4:31 pm

      I’ve got a Romany friend (close enough that she offered to lend me her bells to wear at my wedding) who is vehemently against use of the word “gypsy.” I do occasionally use it still, only because some people don’t know what “Roma/Romany” or “Sinti” means and I have to clarify, “Those are Gypsies.”

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