I haven’t updated in a minute and I’m sorry

It’s been five days since I updated last. I feel incredibly guilty at about that.

The pandemic and the ongoing collapse of society has really got me down. Every day I add obituaries for COVID-19 victims to online memorial forums, and it seems like way too many of them are young people. Every day I see people posting moronic stuff online calling it all a hoax or saying the survival rate is 99.5% or saying it’s no worse than the flu or saying masks are unsafe to wear, and I get extremely angry.

Last night we had two friends over for our weekly Social Distancing Circle Dinner (they both work with Michael so we figure whatever they’re exposed to, so are we). I was feeling so hopeless about the state of the world that I started crying and saying everything sucks and there is no way out of it for us. Michael and our friends applied immediate treatment to my despair, in the form of a series of funny animal clips on YouTube. I did feel a little better, for awhile anyway.

My friends have politely suggested I take a mental health break from obsessively following all the COVID-19 news and obsessively adding names of the dead to the memorial forums. I suppose they’re right.

I’ll try to get myself together tomorrow and put something up on Charley. And remind myself of how fortunate I am to have what I have.

14 thoughts on “I haven’t updated in a minute and I’m sorry

  1. Carol McKenzie July 27, 2020 / 6:31 pm

    This is an incredibly difficult time for all of us and for all the reasons you mention. I do legal and law enforcement transcription and hear daily through 911 calls, interviews, etc., what probably should not be heard by the average person. It takes a toll. Those of us who choose to do this – to honor and give voice to those who can no longer speak, in whatever fashion – are a very special group. That includes you. It’s a heavy burden at times. But in the end, I think the world is a better place for people like you – and maybe me – who do the work others cannot. You’re a strong person but there is also a time to take a break, look at animal clips on YouTube – I favor kittens – and decompress. Don’t feel guilty for stepping away and stepping back for a moment. None of us are going anywhere in the foreseeable future.

    • Colleen McHugh August 11, 2020 / 9:41 pm

      How dare you write about my Mother Carol McHugh without all of the facts! Secondly to get donations for our loss simply because you post information????

      • Carol McKenzie August 11, 2020 / 10:18 pm

        I think you may be replying to the wrong person. I’m not posting about your mother.

        But as a loyal follower of the Charley Project, this is an amazing and reliable site for those who wish to help find missing persons.

  2. Chris Mielke July 27, 2020 / 6:58 pm

    Hi Meaghan.
    I’m sorry that you are feeling so blue. I often do as well. I’m an old single, retired guy who is on oxygen 24/7 (married to an O2 tank). You posted that you have a new-ish dog. I lost my last dog Shelley in early Dec., 2019. Then caught a cold. Then couldn’t stop coughing for a week without sleep. Went to urgent care, and they rushed me to the ER. Later, at home, I recalled all my “letters to the editor”s, writing state and fed. reps. about the political situation, and all the effort I put into those letters, since I don’t write well. I decided the letters was too much stress. I decided that my new goal in life was just to adopt a senior dog who maybe had no where else to go, and give him/her the best last few years possible. THAT is something that I can do.
    I still watch Rachael Maddow on MSNBC, even tho that can be stressful.
    Running The Charlie Project as well as you do is A LOT of work, and you have been doing it so long. You have earned the right to ease up on yourself. Your work is IMPORTANT, and YOU are IMPORTANT.
    In January, I adopted 8 year old Max, a Rhodesian Ridgeback recently surrendered back to his breeder. Drove from far north Idaho to So Cal to get him, 7 days there and back. He is a wonderful dog.

    • Meaghan July 27, 2020 / 7:07 pm

      My dog is named Kinsey. She is 15. She used to be my mom’s dog but Mom was neglecting her and I took her away and I am so glad. She’s a whole different dog now, happy and confident after a lifetime of being ignored and not having her needs met. Kinsey is one of the most important things in my life.

      Thanks for your kind wishes. Fluffle Max’s ears for me.

    • Carol McKenzie July 27, 2020 / 7:35 pm

      Your goal is a worthy one. I wish you and Max the best. You are a good soul.

    • Tracy Em July 27, 2020 / 10:07 pm

      Thank you for giving Max a forever home.

  3. Tracy Em July 27, 2020 / 10:11 pm

    Meaghan, You do so much good in this world. Please, never feel guilty for taking a break and doing some self-care. Hello from my 15 year old pup, Lucy, to Kinsey. Stay well.

  4. Mia July 27, 2020 / 10:36 pm

    It’s a struggle to maintain good spirits right now. I find myself getting angry at all the stupidity I see about anti-masks, conspiracies, etc. My ulcer has been flaring up and I don’t sleep well. It’s so hard to focus on anything else.

    Give yourself a break. The pandemic will be fine without you. I’m joking, of course, but seriously… don’t put yourself through unnecessary worry and sadness.

  5. Alice July 28, 2020 / 6:16 am

    It does make you wonder how many currently missing people have COVID-19, particularly if they were homeless.

  6. Jessie Alexandria July 28, 2020 / 5:51 pm

    Sorry you’re feeling so heavy Meaghan. I share your anxiety about Covid as I have a number of close family members that are considered high risk. I also share your frustration in regards to the selfish moronic behaviour of some people who believe that it does not exist or that the survival rate is high enough for it not to matter.
    I’m glad to know that you are surrounded by people who know how to bring you some relief and keep you well and safe.
    Take all the time and deep breaths you need. We need you well! ❤

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