Jayme Closs and other things

So I’m on a downswing, in terms of my mood. I’m bipolar. This is my life and it will never change, though the five psychiatric medications I take daily mitigate the downswings.

It’s just been kind of hard to get anything done. I will decide to do some thing or other, then I’ll find myself just sitting there staring into space as I’m trying to get myself to move. Even something as simple as picking an object up off the floor.

The Jayme Closs thing has kind of gotten to me. Of course I’m delighted that she’s been found alive. That’s not what’s getting to me; that part’s great. What’s getting to me is what some people have been saying. It’s really hard not to take that personally because of what happened to me back in the day.

(If you haven’t read that far back in my blog, what happened to me is this: in 2009, while I was on a trip to Virginia, I got lost and a stranger offered to give me directions. Instead, he took me into the woods and beat the crap out of me and raped me multiple times. Then he gave me the directions he’d promised and let me go. In the aftermath of the attack, there were a bunch of people on the comments section of this blog, and in email, who accused me of making the whole thing up for who knows what reason. It was very hurtful, obviously. After almost a year the rapist, a serial offender, was identified through DNA and he’s since been deported.)

I was just writing on here about how people can make speculations online about cases, speculations with no evidence to support them, and how this isn’t helpful and can indeed be harmful, especially if the victim or their family sees it.

And some people are doing that about Jayme Closs now. They’re outright accusing her of the murder, or at least complicity to the murder, of her own parents. And the police have said they believe her abductor acted entirely alone, and that he did not know Jayme (who, I will point out, is thirteen years old), and that he had been stalking her, and that Jayme is a victim and not a suspect.

These people think they know better than the cops, I guess. Why? Because Jayme took a selfie after her reunion with her aunt and dog. Because she was clean and looked okay in the selfie. Because she was smiling.

OF COURSE SHE WAS SMILING. She’d just been reunited with her dog and what’s left of her family, after she thought she’d never see them again, and the monster who did this to her is locked up! Why shouldn’t she smile? Why wouldn’t she have gotten herself cleaned up, showered etc.?

At what point is a crime victim “allowed” to smile and act happy and still be considered a “legitimate” victim?

One of the so-called reasons people were calling me a liar about my rape was because I didn’t act “traumatized enough” to suit them, when in fact they didn’t know the first thing about it. They were only seeing words on a screen, on my blog.

And so some people, on the basis of a “feeling” or a “hunch”, and a photograph, are making dreadful accusations against a thirteen-year-old child who saw her parents get murdered and who spent the last three months, I’m assuming, as Jake Patterson’s sex slave, thinking every day would be her last.

Frankly it makes me sick. I hope Jayme’s aunt and other caregivers make sure she does not see those accusations. I’m not seeking them out myself, but when they get posted on the Charley Project’s Facebook page I kind of have to read them, though I delete them as quickly as I can.

30 thoughts on “Jayme Closs and other things

  1. drycamp January 14, 2019 / 12:10 pm

    Meghan we are so sorry! That you’re on a downswing, that people treated you that way in the past, and the Jayme Close, a thirteen year old child, is being treated that way now.

    IDK what it is about blaming victims. Does it make people feel safer? “This didn’t really happen so I don’t have to worry about it happening to me…” Or is it just mean? Do they expect that Jayme will never shower or wash her face again, so that we can believe how badly she was treated?

    Bipolar is one of the hardest things to live with. I have a bipolar kid and I know a lot about it. Try to be gentle to yourself during this time. Only post if it helps. We can wait for all the news about missing persons until you are well!

  2. Christie Groves January 14, 2019 / 12:13 pm

    Meagan, I am sorry you are not feeling good, of course call or email me if you need to. I think we need to wait for the sheriff to come to the conclusions he needs to in the Closs case. He has alluded to they knew each other, we need to see in what respect. Of course a 13 year old can’t be held accountable for this at all.

    • marsyao January 14, 2019 / 12:48 pm

      Christie,I recall Sheriff already told us that none of the Closs family knew the suspect. so I don’t understand what the “alluded” come from

      • Jim January 14, 2019 / 12:59 pm

        Thank you!

    • Camille January 14, 2019 / 2:23 pm

      Where exactly did you read that? Because nothing I have seen does LE speculate that they know each other. Provide a link or stop contributing to misinformation and victimization of this child.

      • misskitty1222 January 14, 2019 / 3:02 pm

        I have seen the sheriff say the exact opposite.. That she did not know him… I am behind tho…

    • Joanna January 14, 2019 / 5:32 pm

      They didn’t know each other and no one has alluded to them knowing each other at all. This sick pig saw her getting off a school bus. He didn’t even know her name until he saw news reports on his crime. This innocent girl had everything taken from her on the whim of the devil…

  3. Luann Miller January 14, 2019 / 12:37 pm

    I’m so sorry you are going through this and that it is triggering you.  We are all here.  Many of us don’t judge you or her.  It just seems that sometimes these stories bring out the worst in some people because they don’t understand so they react in inappropriate ways.  You are doing such wonderful work keeping these people’s stories alive, updated and fresh.  I would guess there are millions of people who appreciate what you do more than you can know, especially the families.  To them, their loved one has been forgotten by many that have moved on.  Your website gives them hope.  They are grateful that their loved one has not been forgotten.  Please hang in there.  We care about you.  

  4. Jim January 14, 2019 / 12:58 pm

    Meaghan, You matter to us. You are stronger than you realize. We really do appreciate all of the hard work you put into showing the world that our missing people, young and old, really do matter also.

    Jayme was a victim. She did not know this creepy character. This evil that visited her family was none of their doing. To state otherwise is victim blaming. And we know those haters are out there. We see them everywhere. It’s frustrating to realize that people are just so ugly to be involved with perpetuating those types of untrue words.

    May your meds help. May your strengths help. May your life be filled with happiness. May you have peace in fulfilling all of your endeavors 😇❤️

  5. Debbi N January 14, 2019 / 3:31 pm

    I think you are one of the strongest people I know (only through Chatley project) but have never met. I have also been through abuse (as a child and teen) and certain things will trigger feelings in me. It is normal and as time has gone on, I feel it makes me stronger.

    I appreciate all of the time and energy that you put into the Charley Project.

    Take care of yourself!

  6. Diamond Lil January 14, 2019 / 7:35 pm

    Sending you (((hugs))) Meaghan.

    May I suggest you DISABLE COMMENTS on any of the Facebook entries on stories like Jayme’s if you can.

    If that can’t be done, perhaps having a good friend or Michael delete them for you.

  7. Jennifer January 14, 2019 / 7:47 pm

    My husband is bi polar so I truly understand where you are coming from since I have stood by him through this for 15 years. While meds help some they are no cure… I am truly sorry for what you went through and thank you for going on and speaking up and helping others. I am beyond tired of the opinionated keyboard warriors who think they have all the answers. As I was reading a story earlier this evening about a toddler who got out of her house in the middle of the night and could not get back all I could think was what a tragic accident and that poor family and then I see the horrible, judgmental comments from all the “perfect parents” and how they stay up all night and check on their kids constantly! Yeah right! Oh well As long as there is social media there will be victim blamers.

  8. Noreen Rafferty January 14, 2019 / 9:56 pm

    Very well said Meghan. I couldn’t agree more. Not only is Maybe a victim, she is also a child. People need to wise up or shut up.

  9. LB January 14, 2019 / 10:21 pm

    Knowing two people who are survivors of sexual assault, I hate it when people say that a victim will be traumatized for life. When society obligates survivors of rape to behave in certain ways or else face skepticism, we deny them their right to process their feelings in a way that benefits their emotional well being. I want this young woman to have a happy, productive life with the people who care for her.

    • Meaghan January 14, 2019 / 10:23 pm

      I know what you mean, LB. I have basically recovered from what happened to me. By which I mean I have resumed my normal life and it doesn’t usually bother me. If it were impossible for women to get over this, where would we be? Because it happens to so many of us.

  10. Mia January 14, 2019 / 10:30 pm

    She could simply be smiling because she’s a kid and she knows that’s what you’re supposed to do when a picture is taken. Good lord, people are awful.

    • Meaghan January 14, 2019 / 10:31 pm

      But don’t you know, abduction victims are never allowed to smile again. It’s in the handbook they give you at the orientation meeting.

      • Mia January 15, 2019 / 3:58 pm

        I forgot! If you don’t follow those rules, you’re obviously (a) lying or (b) guilty!

  11. Mike January 14, 2019 / 11:12 pm

    To all of those idiots who say Jayme Closs conspired with the animal who shotgunned her parents answer this why did she escape? The police had no clue where she was or who the guy was.. This was no Charles Starkweather type of crime where she participated.
    The loser who took her probably had been fantasizing about taking a girl for years and once he saw her get on her school bus he decided to go from fantasy to predation. There is not one iota of proof this child was anything but a victim.

  12. Sonya January 15, 2019 / 3:17 am

    I’m so sorry you’re on a downswing. One of my relatives is bipolar, and I know it is difficult. Please take care.

    I don’t quite understand why the people speculating think Jayme had to know her abductor. People are sometimes abducted, do they think it’s impossible for an abductor to pick out a victim at random? Why do they think this, because it took a few months to escape? She’s 13, her parents were killed in front of her, she had to have been terrified, and picking the right time to escape may have saved her life. I think she’s brave. There are many, many cases of missing people on this very site, and I am sure some of them were abducted by strangers, just as Jayme was.

    I am sorry for what you went through, Meaghan. People can be truly terrible sometimes. Nobody has the right to tell you you’re not acting upset enough after a rape, whether their judgement is brought about by reading words or how a victim acts. Perhaps we would all benefit if rape was covered in Miss Manners, and we could all follow the proper rape etiquette!(I wish there was a sarcastica font for when we type things like this…don’t worry, I’m being sarcastic.)

    Please take care, I hope you get to feeling better soon.

  13. JustinChristoph January 15, 2019 / 4:01 am

    There are always going to be trolls. They will smear anyone and everyone who doesn’t act exactly how they want them to. Someone could literally save the world and trolls would be out there in force trying to smear them. They hide behind their computer screens with screen names because they wouldn’t dare say it to people’s faces. You’ve seen this time and time again Meaghan. It’s the only power they have. They will never build anything and can only try to tear it down.

  14. Peter Henderson Jr. January 15, 2019 / 6:55 am

    Similar things were said about Abigail Hernandez, who was 14 when she went missing from Conway, New Hampshire on October 9, 2013. Abby, by then 15, was recovered alive on July 20, 2014.

    The comment section nut jobs immediately said she was faking the fact she had been kidnapped, held against her will, raped, and tortured.

    Why? Well she did not look like she was traumatized according to the self-professed experts. So, the conspiracy theorist said she must have run away or gotten pregnant. They went so far as to say her family should have to re-pay the state for the expense incurred in the investigation.

    The nut jobs somehow feel they have been cheated if it’s a positive outcome.

    You would think the only excepted resolution to a missing teen case is when the child is found dead.

    Then the nut jobs were forced to learn the truth when news banners like, “Captive for nine months, Kibby’s victim survived chamber of horrors,” started to fill the front page.

    Stories that reported, “Her captor wore a gold joker’s mask as he did unspeakable things to his young victim.

    Kibby had kept the girl prisoner at his home and in a storage container on the property for nine months until, fearing that police were on the way, he let her go on July 20, 2014.

    Eventually, the girl disclosed more and more of her ordeal: the vicious sexual assaults, the forced drugs, the pornographic videos Kibby told her he wanted to re-enact with her.”

    No one ever apologized for what they had said.

    Abby’s case.

  15. T B January 15, 2019 / 7:08 am

    I’m a writer who has been studying the psychological event of the sexual offense and consequential victimology.

    I remember one interview that just totally shook me was of a college student who’s car broke down and she accepted a ride from her landlord’s son-in-law,but instead was taken into the woods into a frenzied assault. And she did absolutely everything a person could,she had support of friends and family and was able to make it through just appalling medical treatment and callous skepticism from the very people with roles that exist to protect and support you.

    And she gets to court finally and testifies against this man and despite all the evidence or should I say what was left of the evidence that was actually allowed to appear in court—- she is found too coherent and unemotional on the stand that doubt is created within the jury and this dangerous man was let go. And regarding the nature of the offender,I’ve always wondered how many others fell victim before or if he was even ever stopped,because I think this might have been in the 70s or 80s,I can’t remember off the top of my head. But I just couldn’t believe it turned out that way.

    I just remember reeling and sitting there with how hopeless that made me feel,and I’m only a random third party decades after the fact.

    Regarding victimology,the psychology of these offenses; and just general understanding of grief/and trauma the ignorance that exists is astounding.

  16. sheila January 15, 2019 / 8:14 am

    Kudos to you-you tell them like it is – I am a victim myself and went through hell in the court system enough said.

  17. MJ January 15, 2019 / 9:30 am

    Always here to help you with whatever you need and you are in my thoughts. Feel better soon ❤ (by the way, I submitted what I emailed to you to Doe Network and I got an email saying they will discuss among their panel and submit to LE if they think it has any substance) ❤

  18. Alice January 15, 2019 / 4:33 pm

    Reading about all of this reminds me of a short story I wrote months ago for a summer project on different types of psychology. One of the subplots was about a 15 year old who was roofied and assaulted by his sister’s teacher. And the boy was repeatedly ridiculed because the teacher was a young woman. Her excuse was that her previous boyfriends – rightfully – called her a psychopath and she wanted to ‘own’ a boy who wouldn’t leave her.

    Coming back to real life, I think you are an immensely brave young woman, Meghan, and Jayme is as well for surviving all she did. To have everything that you personally have been through, on top of bipolar disorder, is a cavalcade of bad luck that no-one should have to go through.

    I wish Jayme the very best in the future.

  19. Mion January 15, 2019 / 9:10 pm

    Some people will ALWAYS try to find a way to blame the woman in every situation. It’s Ariana Grande’s fault that Mac Miller overdosed. Rihanna possibly hit Chris Brown first, so it’s okay that he nearly killed her. Jayme Closs (a literal CHILD) seduced an older man and convinced him to kill her parents and run off with her. You don’t “act like a victim should”, so obviously you must be lying about what happened to you. Because men never make bad decisions on their own — there’s always an evil, plotting, cunning woman behind it.

  20. James christ January 15, 2019 / 10:52 pm

    I’m not following jayme, but I follow your hard work every day. I pray for better health for you, so that you continue and I will “break” a case someday.

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