So the day before yesterday I discovered Dark Matters on YouTube. You can thank Caleigh Elise for most of the updates I did yesterday. Her video summaries of unsolved murders and missing persons cases and unidentified remains are in depth, well-researched and professionally done. From her research I discovered some factual errors on a few of my cases and corrected them.
Preston Winfrey, my designer, has fixed the drop-down search results on the general search (bad plugin update apparently) so the bar no longer goes blank and stops working if you scroll down. He has also improved the advanced search, fixing a bug that wouldn’t let you search multiple phrases.
Yesterday I got a shocking response from a woman whose sister was on my site. She sent me messages through email and Facebook and we spoke over Facebook messenger. She said I had no right to post about the MP, I had no permission from my family, and everything I had posted was “such baloney.”
I explained who I was and what the Charley Project is and asked what corrections needed to be made. She said the MP was reported missing by her husband; I had had it as her brother. Okay, I said, I will fix that (and did so), what else?
Well, I asked several times but she never said there was any other incorrect information, just kept yelling at me, saying their mom was very upset by seeing the casefile and it was against the law for me to write about missing persons without permission from the family. I told her this was not true.
I do not know what was bothering her, because besides that quite minor error there was absolutely nothing objectionable in the MP’s casefile, nothing that could be construed as remotely critical or judgmental or intrusive. I don’t think the woman’s anger or her mother’s distress had anything to do with me really.
I know I have written and spoken about this kind of reaction several times but it doesn’t happen often at all; most relatives who reach out to me are polite and respectful and appreciate my efforts. I got a really nice email from Morgan Nick‘s mom last month. It’s just that whenever I do get family members who claim I did something wrong or hurtful it’s upsetting to me. But some people just react differently and they are in a bad situation so I try not to take it personally.
I’m doing pretty well right now and everyone’s fine where I’m at: Michael, cats, dogs. Kinsey’s fifteenth birthday was earlier this week and we had her wear a party hat and gave her an Arby’s roast beef sandwich as we sang the birthday song.
Glad to hear you’re doing better than when you went through the health insurance fiasco.
Sorry to hear about the MP’s family member giving you grief. I can see why that would be upsetting, because the claims are so odd. I’m sure most families are very grateful for all that you do, even if you don’t hear from them.
I would think they should be grateful, that someone is sharing information on their loved one who is missing. We hear that not enough media attention is paid to person’s of color who are missing. I wonder if she would be upset that her family member is entered into NAMUS, and that anyone can access the information.
We appreciate the efforts of you and others that highlight missing persons and cold cases on the web. They most likely don’t know of all the non-law enforcement people out here trying to help find their loved ones. We would not know about them if not for The Charley Project, and your hard work. It makes are work easier to have the information all in one place.
This past spring I got an email from a woman who was on my site, was very angry and said she wasn’t missing. I explained she was in fact listed as a missing person—she’d been reported missing after suddenly moving away and had had no idea. I told her to contact the investigating agency to get the report canceled and then I removed her from my site. (She disappeared from the database I got her off of so she must have had the report canceled.)
THEN she blew up at me, sending me a series of messages calling me various strange and obscene things including I quote “gay, lesbian, cat holding, sadistic bitch!” and “CUNT!”
I blocked her email and she started messaging me from her work email instead. I contemplated reporting this to her job which would have probably gotten her fired, but decided it wasn’t worth that.
I have no idea what was wrong with her or why she thinks “cat holding” is anything bad. Even a check of the Urban Dictionary website turned up no entry for that particular insult.
Hi Meaghan! Let me just say it again: You are the best! When I write my own dictionary, I will put a picture of you next to the entry for “angel.” Because you are a perfect angel. Please don’t let anyone get you down. And give Kinsey a big hug and a kiss for me. I’m glad that he has such a wonderful family.
Thank you. Kinsey thanks you too!
Some families seem to want anything deemed less than perfect within a family kept a secret. I noticed in particular a few states here in New England are quite indignant if you pry into their business.
That is why there never will be a german “Charley Project”. People are way too much into privacy in our country.
Mischa, I have been reading pretty much about Sonja Engelbrecht disappearance.Such a beautiful girl. I feel so sorry for her family, I understand that they wanted more publicity and not less.
Seeing the Nyleen Marshall update reminded me of the unidentified Jane Doe found in Wisconsin in 1999 (199UFWI on Doe Network). I had submitted it as a possible match a while back, and DN responded that this potential match had already been submitted. I haven’t seen anything stating that Nyleen had been eliminated as a possible match for this Doe. I know Charley doesn’t focus on finding matches, but I thought it was worth mentioning here in case any of your connections with other organizations might know more as to whether Nyleen has been officially eliminated in this Doe case. The known circumstances of the Doe are pretty sad…she had only recently died as a young adult when found in 1999 and apparently had suffered long term abuse and neglect. The circumstances possibly fit the details given in the anonymous calls and letters sent in reference to Nyleen. I almost feel that if this is indeed Nyleen, that knowing the circumstances (that she was kept and abused for years) would be worse for her family to know than to believe that she died shortly after her disappearance. Either way, she really should be officially ruled out as this Doe if that hasn’t already happened.
Racine Jane Doe is mentioned in the Dark Matters vid on Nyleen.
Sorry that person was so abusive to you, Meaghan. The Internet can be like that, though…I made an innocent comment on another website the other day and this guy went nuts.
Some people just have issues. And you were smart to not report that woman who harassed you, because if she had been fired from her job, she could have started stalking you for real. Stay safe!