Make-a-List Monday: Young girls and older men

There are a lot of cases where a missing young girl, sometimes not even in her teens yet, “may be in the company of an adult male.” Occasionally — not often — I’ll have photos and information about her companion. In most of these cases, the girl ran off voluntarily with the man, at least to the extent that someone that age CAN do this “voluntarily”, and sometimes it’s classified as a runaway, sometimes as an abduction, it seems almost random to me. Anyway, I thought I’d do a list of those cases where I have information for the men.

  1. Reyna Gabriella Alvarado-Carrera, 13
  2. Vitia Cardosa, 12
  3. Diana Isabel Gonzalez, 14
  4. Veronica Emily Martinez, 14
  5. Elvia Morales, 14
  6. Mayra Guadalupe Sandoval, 12
  7. Isabeth Yanez, 12

And no, I have no idea why all the girls on this list are Hispanic. I’m sure white, black, Asian and Native American girls disappear under these circumstances too.

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10 thoughts on “Make-a-List Monday: Young girls and older men

  1. Aja October 10, 2016 / 11:50 am

    Actually, if the girl herself is not Hispanic, which is nearly always the case, the accompanying man is always Hispanic. Hispanic men seem to be the only ones who cannot accept that a girl is too young or wait until she is older to pursue a relationship. Chioma Gray from California, who was 15 when she vanished in 2007, was a Black girl, but the man she was with was a Hispanic guy that her parents had forbidden her to see and they went gallivanting off to Mexico together. Her mother had even gone so far as to have the man criminally charged for having sex with her 14 year old daughter, but little was done about the matter and so he was free to persuade the naive young fool to run away with him. When Chioma turned 18 they surfaced, Joshua Tafoya was of course arrested, and the poor infatuated girl was much more concerned about what would happen to him rather than all of the trouble she had put her family and law enforcement through. Her family insisted and tried to make everyone believe that Chioma had been taken against her will, but very few people believed that by Chioma’s behavior and the fact video existed showing her willingly getting into Tafoya’s car instead of going into her school like she was supposed to be doing. Her mother had previously witnessed her getting into and out of the very same car willingly. Chioma herself even insisted she had married him and he was her husband. Stockholm Syndrome or a sexually promiscuous underage girl who was with her man willingly? There is something about Hispanic men that is hypnotic for underage girls and they would probably jump off a bridge if the man told her to!

    • Meaghan October 10, 2016 / 12:34 pm

      I debated as to whether to delete your comment or not. I’m leaving it up but I find the entire statement disgusting. Perhaps you didn’t mean to but you sound incredibly racist. My boyfriend is Hispanic, but even if he wasn’t I would be offended by this.

      • Ash October 11, 2016 / 9:06 am

        I don’t think Aja meant to sound racist, or at least I hope not. It does, however, seem like a disproportionate number of underage girls who run off with an older man are of Hispanic descent or the man in question is. Obviously, I don’t know the statistics, but this is something that might be interesting to explore further.

      • Meaghan October 11, 2016 / 9:12 am

        Well, if you look at the rate of actual child marriages in the world (that is, under 18), almost all of them are in Africa and parts of Asia, not in Latin America.

        I have heard it said that in Mexico it’s considered acceptable for an older man to date a teenager — certainly more acceptable than it is here — but I don’t know if that’s true. I’ve not properly researched the subject and I’ve never been to Mexico.

      • Melinda October 14, 2016 / 10:20 am

        One can be “Hispanic” and be of ANY race, though…”Hispanic” is more of an ethnicity/culture than an actual racial classification.
        My neighbor is a Black woman who also happens to be Latina.

    • Melinda October 14, 2016 / 10:41 am

      Wow, the Chioma Gray case…that one has always interested me. I wonder what she is up to these days.
      Now she is an adult so she is pretty much free to date anyone she wants. I wonder if Josh Tafoya ever got back in touch with her?

      In that particular case, I believe that she was a typical young girl with hormones and an overly strict family.
      A guy comes along, shows her attention, she falls in love, the parents don’t like it, and she runs away with her boyfriend.

      I wouldn’t call her “sexually promiscuous” just because she had sex with ONE guy with whom she’d had a relationship.
      People often think of teenagers as children and in a way, they are. But at the same time, their bodies are changing into mature bodies that are capable of reproduction and of feeling sexual urges. They are on the threshold between childhood and adulthood, which is why some kids look and act older than they are, and why they sometimes have consensual relationships with older men (or women).
      Parents and other family members are understandably upset by this because they want to keep their daughters innocent little girls forever, but that isn’t realistic.

      I’m not excusing such activity or saying that it’s OK…just showing that sometimes these issues can be more complicated than most of us realize.

      • Meaghan October 14, 2016 / 10:56 am

        Well, you might know already that Michael and I met, fell in love and began a relationship when I was 16 to his 27.

        I don’t think of a 16-year-old, or even a 14-year-old, as a child. Maybe they aren’t adults but they aren’t children anymore. I think it’s worth noting that Chioma did not contact her family until she was 18.

        As for my parents, they were extremely upset when they found out Michael and I were seeing each other. But the age of consent in Ohio is 16, so no laws were being broken, and they did recognize that Michael was a good man and didn’t want to ruin his life. They also realized that, short of doing something like sending me to boarding school, there was no way they could effectively stop us from being together.

        So they made one of the few good parenting decisions that ever made in my life: adopting a “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” attitude, they tolerated our relationship and Michael was allowed over at the house and at family events and so on. They gritted their teeth and hoped the relationship would fizzle on its own.

        Needless to say, it didn’t. I will stay with him and follow him wherever he goes, unless he asks me to leave. It took many years but family has finally accepted this.

  2. diamondlil16 October 11, 2016 / 3:43 am

    Meaghan, have you already done a list of people that went missing after meeting someone through social media? I would think many were underage and they met up with older people, usually a man.

    Btw, glad you are feeling better!

    • Meaghan October 12, 2016 / 10:08 am

      I don’t think I have, no. It sounds like it might be a good idea.

      You might say that back in the day I did everything wrong on the internet, swapping personal information and talking a lot with older men, some of whom had an open sexual interest in me. (On my end, I had no interest in that. I basically was just looking for the kind of adult guidance my home environment didn’t provide. I was basically neglected a lot when I was a kid — my parents didn’t act like parents, they acted like adults who happened to live with me.

      Yet nothing bad ever happened, and every one of the internet friends I have met in person has been who and what they said they were, and I regret nothing.

    • Melinda October 14, 2016 / 10:49 am

      @Diamond…yes, great idea! Those cases usually end in tragedy. Kacie Woody comes to mind. Also, Nicole Lovell is one case that happened just this year where a little girl was talking to an older boy online and he (with a female friend) murdered her.

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