My apologies

I have done almost no updates this month and I am sorry. A large part of the problem is this new computer. I had my bookmarks backed up of course but for some reason I cannot find the most recent backup and am having to suffice with older ones. Which means going through and deleting all the bookmarks I no longer need. And something went wrong in the Google Chrome installation, where the bookmarks didn’t work; I would delete a bookmark, but it wouldn’t show unless I closed the bookmarks folder and opened it again. I solved this by un-installing and re-installing Chrome. But there remains the problem of trying to sort out which bookmarks are current and which are not.

Apropos of nothing: I had a conversation about my website with a woman today who had the usual attitude of “if you marry a Middle Eastern man he will take your kids to some godforsaken sandy country and you will never see them again.” I told her that if there is any particular nationality American would-be parents should be aware of, it is the Japanese. Mexico is by far the biggest abduction destination, probably because of our proximity to it and the large number of Mexican immigrants, but at least you have a chance to get your kid back from there. Japan, last I checked, hasn’t even signed the Hague Treaty, and does not recognize the custodial rights of fathers.

9 thoughts on “My apologies

  1. Kat May 21, 2012 / 9:11 pm

    Japan indeed, does suck for custodial rights, most likely for both fathers and mothers. However, I will go along with the knee jerk reaction here for Middle Eastern as well. I don’t know offhand if they have signed said treaty or not (not that it seems to do a lot of good in a lot of cases), but you do hear about kids being taken to Middle East/Asian countries and not being returned an awful lot. I still remember that movie Not Without My Daughter from ages ago and a lot of it still rings true. There are countries where women are still second class citizens and children are treated as property. Spotlighted in the news more now though after 9/11. I’d guess you can find horrible parental abductions in almost every country, but you’ll see it more reported for overseas/Middle East now. Wow, did I use “a lot” a lot lol. All joking aside, there are serious cases to be made in many countries, as well as some very scary ones here in the US of A.

    • Meaghan May 21, 2012 / 10:10 pm

      Oh, I know Middle Eastern countries are as bad as Japan, but there aren’t nearly as many ME immigrants as there are Japanese, nor do as many American people marry them.

  2. L May 22, 2012 / 1:54 am

    Most middle eastern countries have it if a father takes his child from here to over there then hey are considered the father’s “property”, if you will, and they aren’t under any obligation to return them regardless of orders or treaties. Japan and the Phillipines are just as bad and ickier because, as already said, Japan hasn’t signed the treay even. Many go to Mexico because they have family that can hide them and they know the country and the corruption that goes on….its easy to hide out for ages there.

    • Meaghan May 22, 2012 / 2:00 am

      I also believe (but am not 100% sure) that Japan does not recognize the custody rights of fathers even if they are Japanese citizens. If a Japanese couple divorce the father is supposed to just disappear from the kid’s life.

      To say nothing if the left-behind parent is NOT a Japanese citizen.

      • Diane May 23, 2012 / 6:17 am

        How does that compare, though, with how the Middle Eastern countries would treat a mother in similar situations to the fathers we’re talking about here?

        I do get your point, though. I think I’d be lots more likely to be comfortable married to an Arab man with the knowledge of what could happen if things went all pear-shaped than being married to a Japanese man. Plus I get the impression there’s less misogyny, covert or overt, amongst Middle Eastern cultures than there is with the Japanese one.

  3. forthelost May 22, 2012 / 7:45 am

    It’s not merely fathers; in the system one parent gets custody and the other is just supposed to vanish. Possesion is also the law; even if you have custody and your ex takes the kids nothing will be done. I know one case where mom is Japanese but living in the US and dad is American. Dad took the kids to Japan, and Japan shrugged its shoulders.

    • C May 22, 2012 / 11:04 pm


      Also, if I’m not mistaken, there have been cases where children were abducted to Middle Eastern countries and left behind parents were able to get them back. In some cases, the problem is more a lack of resources/experience for these countries than a lack of desire to resolve the case.

      I do not know of a single child returned from Japan by the authorities. Even after the earthquake. They have the resources available, they just don’t do it.

  4. Diane May 23, 2012 / 6:21 am

    Not a problem about the lack of updates this month. I don’t see anyone here having to pay money to access your site, so it’s stupid grumbling about something we’re getting for free. Plus you came through like a champ once you’ve started updating. However, I think it would be prudent for you to change some identifying information with Elizabeth Kovalik. She looks like an awfully young 86-year-old in that photo of hers, and I’m not quite sure an elderly woman of that age would be able to have a three-year-old son. Outside of the Old Testament, that is. Though don’t worry — it’s just one minor thing, and it’s an amusing little thing to behold.

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