I really cannot get motivated lately — I haven’t even written in my journal in like two weeks, never mind doing anything else — and seem to be unusually anxious. By which I mean I am not anxious when I’m just sitting around and things are fine, but if the least little thing goes wrong I explode. Michael asked me to go out and get groceries and take his car. I did so, and when I returned, parked the car and went to the other side to get the other groceries, the passenger side door wouldn’t open after several tries, even though it was unlocked. It turned out the latch is basically broken and he’d forgotten to tell me. Anyway, I basically exploded. I went to Michael practically in tears, saying I was unable to get the groceries out of the car. It was really embarrassing because he was gaming with all his friends and, like, eight people saw me freaking out over a little tiny thing.
It wasn’t that I thought it was my fault the door didn’t work; it’s just that the door was supposed to open and it didn’t and I sometimes have problems when things don’t go as they’re expected to go. It’s an Aspergers-y thing, I think. I’m a lot better than I used to be, but I sometimes have bad moments and they’re happening a lot more lately. *shrugs* Dunno why. Got some guesses, but don’t know why.
But I must update tomorrow. It’ll be Tuesday.