Why does this always happen to me?

Last night I was afflicted with insomnia again, tossing and turning and generally feeling pretty grumpy. Then around five a.m. an additional complication arose: the hiccups. Loud, forceful hiccups every minute or even more frequent. I hadn’t had the hiccups in years. I tried to ignore them for awhile, then got up and had some cookies, hoping that would help. It didn’t. Neither did a glass of water. Then I tried a spoonful of sugar, and the hiccups went away.

By 9:00 a.m., just as the library opened and I stepped inside, they were back. I had some inter-library loan books that were “in house” meaning I couldn’t take them out of the library and had to read them there. So I was trying to do this, and meanwhile my hiccups were (it seemed to me) making everyone around me want to smother me. They were just as loud as before. I sounded a bit like a Pekingese.

At 10:30 I finally finished the books and raced back across town to Michael’s house for another spoonful of sugar. I had an appointment with my new (seventh) counselor, Gloria. I filled up the smallest Tupperware container with sugar and took that, and a spoon, with me. The appointment was at noon. By the end of it, I was hiccuping again.

And so it goes.

I looked it up and discovered that, lo, hiccups are a side effect of Fentanyl. A rare side effect, but it’s the only explanation I can think of. *headdesk* Just when I find a way to stop the horrible itching entirely (Allegra, I love you!), it attacks me with this.

It’s my birthday tomorrow. I will be twenty-six.