Excuse me while I shoot myself

That wonderful, headache-relieving massage I mentioned? The relief lasted less than 48 hours. I had been hoping it would be a week or even two. Oh, well.

I saw my neurologist, Dr. Bultemeier, Tuesday morning and told her what was up. She prescribed some topical cream that some mad scientist in Fort Wayne makes to order, which she says has helped some of her headache patients. I haven’t picked it up yet. I wonder how I’m supposed to apply it over my hair. Dr. B is also going to call that psychologist in Cleveland — the one who thinks I might be too crazy to be in the I-Match program — to find out if he’s got my records or has read them yet or what. Dr. Easley has put me back on Fentanyl, a larger dose this time. So I’m well on my way to becoming a complete hophead, knocking over 7-11s to get my fixes.

I’m feeling pretty down about it all. Not really doing to shoot myself though, or any other self-harm. The title of this post is just an indication of how frustrated I am.

5 thoughts on “Excuse me while I shoot myself

  1. Justin September 29, 2011 / 1:55 pm

    Have you tried another massage?

  2. Leslie September 29, 2011 / 6:30 pm

    Don’t lose hope, Meaghan. At the very least, you are now required to receive a massage every 2 days. Sounds like a win/win situation to me!

  3. amy September 29, 2011 / 10:03 pm

    The fact that you can use “hop head” in a historically accurate way tells me, as always, how damned smart you are. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I wish I knew of some money saving massage tech who could come to your house frequently and make it all better.

    If you can swing it, I would try to get at least one more massage. You have been in pain for so long that one session to at least relieve the tension in your neck/back from the constant headaches will probably not do it, but I think if you have at least another one, the relief will be greater.

    • Meaghan September 30, 2011 / 11:23 am

      Thank you for your compliments, commiserations and suggestions. 🙂 The massage did feel pretty darn good, I must say, even if the pain relief didn’t last long. The massage therapist was very nice and very professional. She said my neck in particular needed a lot of work.

      • amy October 1, 2011 / 1:02 am

        Your neck is probably taking a great deal of stress from the headache. The neck muscles compensate so when your head hurts you still manage to achieve some balance for the most part and don’t look like “floppy girl” (not the technical name, lol). You might also have tension in your shoulders from the head issues as well. I do still recommend at least one more massage of some sort- the deeper the tissue the better. My chiro has someone in house that does them- they are not as good as a regular massage therapist- but they are less expensive for a “quickie”.

        We want/need your well, girlie. I know that no one wants that more than you.

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