A case for more creative naming

As of tomorrow, I will have three people named Maria Mendoza on Charley. All from California. I don’t even know their middle names, so it’s just “Maria Mendoza” three times in a row in my listings. I also have:

4 Jose Gonzalezes
3 John Davises
3 Michael Johnsons
3 Jose Lopezes
3 Juan Rodriguezes
3 Jerry Smiths
2 Michael Blacks
2 Robert Browns
2 Steven Clarks
2 Jose Cruzes
2 Michael Gordons
2 Claudia Guillens (though to be fair they’re mother and daughter)
2 James Harrises
2 William Hendersons
2 William Henrys
2 Thomas Jameses
2 Joshua Johnsons
2 Theresa Johnsons
2 William Joneses
2 Michael Maddens
2 Barbara Martins
2 Joseph Martins
2 Michael McLaughlins
2 Joseph McStays (father and son)
2 Grace Reapps (mother and daughter)
2 James Peterses
2 Lawrence Powells
2 James Robinsons
2 Jose Rodriguezes
2 Harold Simpsons
2 James Smiths
2 John Smiths
2 Robin Smiths
2 John Taylors
2 John Wagners
2 Cheryl Williamses
2 David Williamses
2 Jimmy Williamses
2 Larry Williamses
2 Randy Williamses
2 Jennifer Wilsons
2 William Wrights

That’s how big and annoying the problem is. And there’s probably some more I missed.

For awhile I had two Anthony Davises, two Jose Hernandezes, two Samantha Garcias, two Amy Johnsons, two Brian Joneses, two David Millers, two Karla Rodriguezes, two Miguel Romeros, two James Thompsons and two Kimberly Thompsons but one of each got removed.

How I deal with it: if the second MP has a middle name or middle initial, I go with that. Like, I’ll have good_meaghan_elizabeth or good_meaghan_e. If they don’t have a middle name, I go with good2_meaghan. Sometimes I make an exception. Like, I have reapp_grace and reapp_gracie, since the child’s nickname was Gracie. Or for juniors I sometimes use mcstay_josephj.

Once I had a case where a mother and her four, maybe five daughters disappeared (I forget the exact details, it was back in the MPCCN days), and every single one of the little girls was named Mary. They had different middle names, but still. Imagine when they got old enough to receive mail!

When I take over the world and become Supreme Dictator For Life, I will require people with a common last name like Smith or Brown or Rodriguez to take an uncommon first name. Something like Abijah or Quebec or Ghislaine. If they want to use a common first name, they have to hyphenate their last name. I would also forbid people to give their children the exact same names as themselves — give them a different middle name at least. Like my grandfather and father: both are called Charles, but Grandpa was Charles Henry and Dad is Charles William. This would prevent a lot of paperwork problems.

20 thoughts on “A case for more creative naming

  1. Princess Shantae May 31, 2011 / 10:31 am

    I don’t get the whole junior thing anyway. Come on, surely you can do better than that! Even weirder when its the mother naming the daughter after herself.
    Oh, I remember this now! A couple years ago a woman in Boston or someplace like that killed her two daughters. The little girls were named Jocelyn and Jocelyn Marie. Dumb dumb dumb.
    I sort of remember a missing mother and her daught5ers and all the girls were called Mary, Mari, Marie and Maria.

  2. Sara May 31, 2011 / 5:07 pm

    It used to be a Catholic tradition to give all daughters the first name Mary. In every-day life they went by their middle names. My great-grandmother did it with her 4 daughters. It is confusing when it comes to mail or telemarketer calls; hopefully the parents had enough sense to use different middle initials.

    I’ve known twins named Eve and Evie, and Harry and Henry.

  3. Kat May 31, 2011 / 5:36 pm

    It still is a Catholic tradition. Marys abound. Same as Jesus, Jose, etc. There are a lot of unfortunate Charles’ etc running around in this world. Still, it messes up the paper trail these days. Not being rude, just saying.

    • Meaghan May 31, 2011 / 5:48 pm

      I think Jesus is only used in Hispanic communities. I’ve never met, or heard of, a white person with that name. (Besides THE Jesus, of course.)

    • Meaghan May 31, 2011 / 5:50 pm

      Mildly amusing tidbit: I saw a book on display in a store called “Running From Jesus.” I thought it must be about finding religion, but when I read the back cover it turned out the book was about some guy who had angered a Puerto Rican drug dealer named Jesus and was in hiding. I’m convinced the author meant the title to be a double entendre.

  4. Princess Shantae May 31, 2011 / 6:58 pm

    I seem to remember the Mary/Mari/Maria/Marie girls all had A middle names, Angela and Andrea and Alicia, like that. I think they were Filipino.
    I have a friend who is Filipino and her and her sister are both named Maria, but they go by their middle names, which they each have several of. My friend goes by Ramona and her sister is Pamela.
    Also, Hispanic boys often get the name Maria as part of their name, and French guys sometimes get Marie.

    • Meaghan June 1, 2011 / 6:14 pm

      And there used to be two Carlena Franchers once, both from New York City.

  5. Princess Shantae May 31, 2011 / 8:46 pm

    I don’t know anybody named Doss and so its weird to think of two Kimberly Dosses.
    When the Oklahoma City federal building was bombed there was some mixup b/c two guys that were there were named Paul Ice. One wasn’t hurt and one died. What’s the chances?

  6. marycarney May 31, 2011 / 8:50 pm

    My sister has two sons named Daniel – Daniel T. (by her first husband) and Daniel J. by her second. Same middle name too. My dad’s still pissed at her.
    My mom gave all five of us girls the same middle name – Jean. Which was her first name. I also have two aunts and three cousins named Jean. My sister named her dog Blue Jean!

  7. Princess Shantae June 1, 2011 / 9:12 am

    I have another friend who is one of three girls. Sharon Ann, Holly Ann and Diana Lynn. Only good luck saved poor Diana from being Diana Ann.
    Your sister must of been copying George Foreman. He’s got like ten sons named George.
    I once read about a guy that killed his girlfriend and her kids and some other relatives. The girlfriend’s sons were named Nathan Junior and nathan III.

    • Meaghan June 1, 2011 / 6:12 pm

      No one can accuse this woman of not being creative (at least sometimes), but I know of someone with five kids: Blaze, Breeze, Blake, Brittney and Devin. I always wondered if Devin would wind up with Issues as a result of not having a B name with the rest of his/her family.

      (I don’t know whether Devin is a boy or girl. For that matter I don’t know about Blaze, Breeze or Blake either; Blake can sometimes be a girl’s name, and the first two are so rare they don’t have assigned genders. I just saw their names listed in a church bulletin once.)

  8. Princess Shantae June 1, 2011 / 7:05 pm

    I once knew a little boy named Blaise. (Also a horse named Blaze.) Breeze is probably a girl. Sounds more like a deodorent to me. lol
    Devon was probably one of those surprise miracle babies.

    • Meaghan June 1, 2011 / 7:37 pm

      Blaise is a real name. That is to say, it’s been used as a name for hundreds of years. It’s French and means “one who stutters.” Not that great a meaning, but it has good namesakes: it was the name of an early Christian martyr, and there was a philosopher/mathematician named Blaise Pascal in 1600s.

  9. Princess Shantae June 1, 2011 / 7:45 pm

    Then of course there’s Blaze Starr. lol

  10. CarlK90245 June 1, 2011 / 11:19 pm

    There was a family in my neighborhood named Knight with three kids: Wendy Knight, Gay Night, and Dayan Knight.

    • CarlK90245 June 1, 2011 / 11:20 pm

      Oops, that’s Gay Knight.

  11. Princess Shantae June 2, 2011 / 9:39 am

    I had a patient once who said his grandsons were twins named Hunter and Trapper. I thought he was just fooling but then I met them. And Trapper was Trapper John, like the old TV show.

  12. Kat June 2, 2011 / 6:08 pm

    Before she was found, weren’t there two Carlina Whites? Or did i miss that one here…happens with a short attention span.

    • Meaghan June 3, 2011 / 1:11 am

      No, two Carlena Franchers.

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