The dam bursts

Friday night, or rather Saturday morning in the wee hours, I decided I could take it no longer. I had endured some two and a half days of headache to a greater or lesser degree. It had lately gotten worse to the point where I am not sure I had ever been in so much pain before. I could not endure it. It was 2:30 a.m. My options were limited and all of them bad. I could:

1. Wait it out somehow.

2. Drink a lot of alcohol until I passed out.

3. Wake Michael up, have him take me to the ER, convince them I’m not a hophead, wait a long time for a shot that will provide a few hours’ relief, then worry about how I’m going to pay for all of this without insurance.

4.  Go to my parents’ house and check the pain management options there.

5. Commit suicide.

Lemme tell you, Option 5 was looking pretty good. I had never been in so much pain in my life. But I took what seemed to be the least of all the evils.

I slipped out of my boyfriend’s house and drove for an hour to my parents’. They were asleep and I hoped very much that I would not wake them. I didn’t. I sneaked inside and went to the place where Mom stored all of my dead grandmother’s numerous very powerful prescription painkillers. I took some and then went back to Michael’s apartment. The recommended dose was two. I had to take eight to bring the pain down to a manageable level.

Later in the day, I began to reflect on the situation, which clearly could not continue as it had. I have a care for my liver and would rather it not curl up and die. But I could not endure such agony as I had lately been experiencing.

I called Mom and confessed to what I had done. Then sat through quite a lot of You Idiot, Don’t You Realize How Dangerous That Is, Do You Want To Die, I Should Never Have Told You About Those Drugs, Respiratory Suppressant, Liver Failure, and so on and so forth. Then she insisted on speaking to Michael. It’s a scary thing when Michael and Mom come to be united on anything. They have always hated each other. But in response to my mother’s instructions Michael took the pills away, dragged me to the store, purchased a multivitamin that contains almost the entire periodic table of elements, and told me he was going to force me to eat regular, nutritious meals from now on, because he and Mom both think the headaches might be caused by a vitamin deficiency. I disliked being treated like a child or an anorexic and said so. We bickered half the night. He told me I would abide by his eating rules or leave his apartment right now. I stayed.

Tomorrow, as early as possible, I’m off to the doctor’s again to figure out what’s to be done. All that I know is I cannot live like this.

Still no internet access at Michael’s apartment.

6 thoughts on “The dam bursts

  1. Kat December 19, 2010 / 4:49 pm

    Well, Miss Meaghan, maybe this one time it wouldn’t hurt to listen :)….no one wants you to die!!!! They might be on to something, too. If you can’t handle the women’s multivitamins (I know I can’t, the iron makes me sick), they make gummy vitamins of all kinds, and they are good. I know you aren’t the biggest fan of water, either, but it’ll help, and some of those water flavoring/additives have vitamins in them too. You might also be building up a tolerance to the painkillers because you have been taking them so long for your headaches, and that’s why they aren’t working so well. At any rate, listen to your mother and Michael and the dr, and you will be feeling better soon. We all care about you here on CP blog and need you around!!! Feel better, and Merry Christmas if you do not get back in time. Take care of yourself.

  2. Kat December 19, 2010 / 7:56 pm

    I just came back to say that I hope you don’t take my previous post as condesending, I meant the happy face and all tongue in cheek. I reread it and realized that could be taken in the wrong tone. No offense meant. :).

    • Meaghan December 20, 2010 / 1:01 am

      No offense taken, Kat.

      I’m back at my parents’ home. They have net access. They will take me to the doctor’s tomorrow, in case he gives me some drug that makes it so I can’t drive myself home.

  3. Zoe December 19, 2010 / 8:24 pm

    I have to say as much as they sound like they are ganging up on you it is only because they love you and want you to get better! It is probably scary for them to watch you go through these headaches all the time. Have a go at eating better, you probably need to give it a decent go though. Would not make everything okay over night.

    Anyway, hope you have a great Xmas!

  4. Princess Shantae December 19, 2010 / 9:21 pm

    That’s what we call tough love which is what you have to give to somebody you love very much but who is doing stupid things and not taking care of themselves. 🙂

  5. forthelost December 21, 2010 / 1:52 pm

    I doubt it’s a vitamin deficiency. Even if you eat less than the RDA, those are set deliberately higher than most people need, and you can build up a reserve for months in a week or so.

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