Ah, more insomnia! Lovely!

These last three nights I have not slept at all. I have been able to snatch a few hours during the day. Last night I was feeling kind of rattled and anxious and I stayed up all night doing stupid online quizzes and stuff. Come morning I felt somewhat tired but I doubted my ability to sleep for an extended period, and decided I needed some help of the chemical variety. Thus, I chugged about four or five shots of vodka and went to bed.

And, in spite of being drunk, in spite of having not slept at all the previous night, in spite of having had perhaps five hours of sleep total these last couple of days, I was up within three hours.

This does not bode well.

9 thoughts on “Ah, more insomnia! Lovely!

  1. KIm Wellman July 13, 2010 / 7:33 pm

    Take a couple tylenol pm and call me in the morning:)

  2. Nicole July 13, 2010 / 9:08 pm

    Eh, while the vodka may help you to pass out, it does not let the body get into restorative sleep, and causes you to wake up too. It’s about the worse thing you can do if you are having trouble sleeping. Try unisom or get a script maybe for some lunesta or ambien CR (the cr means controlled release, so it releases a little bit throughout the night to help you get to sleep and stay asleep).

    • Meaghan July 13, 2010 / 9:22 pm

      I’ve tried Ambien before. It didn’t work. I was only sleeping about 90 to 120 minutes a day and I was desperate. I kept taking more and more Ambien, much more than the recommended dose, hoping it would work, but it never did.

      I’ll have to go to the dr. and get something, I guess. I suppose recent events are causing my insomnia — maybe it will die down.

  3. Kat July 13, 2010 / 9:47 pm

    I wish you luck, dear….sorry you haven’t heard from me yet, I was trying to email you and it didn’t work…shortly thereafter we got an “internal short” (shop speak, per say) in our house that knocked out phone, internet, my patience, etc. I’m at the library right now, can’t stay, have to go make dinner. I hope you sleep/feel better soon and I’ll be back when I can!

  4. Justin July 14, 2010 / 12:25 am

    Don’t do things that amuse you. Do things that bore the crap out of you and do them for several hours on end. Like run all the cases through the system to check for resolves. You will probably doze off in the middle of it.

  5. Perl July 14, 2010 / 5:16 am

    Awww, that sucks BAD to not be able to sleep. Can you call your psychiatrist? Maybe get a few benzos to get you through? Will work better than the alcohol, that’s for sure. Of course you are having PTSD with all the stuff that’s going on, the possibility of going to trial and whatnot. Take good care of yourself and rest!

    • Meaghan July 14, 2010 / 6:32 am

      I will call my psychiatrist if I need to. I’m hoping this will just go away. Sometimes it does. He’s prescribed trazadone before.

      Actually, PTSD wise, my symptoms had mostly stopped by the end of last summer. The only lingering one (besides getting anxious whenever I hear from Austin) is a very exaggerated startle response. Pretty much every time I am sleeping or reading or anything, and you touch me or say my name or whatever to get my attention, I scream. Even if I already knew you were there. It’s embarrassing.

  6. Emma l July 14, 2010 / 9:15 am

    I wish I knew a cure for the horror that is insomnia. Like you- everything I have ever tried either works for a very short amount of time or doesn’t work at all.
    Good luck.

  7. grandma July 14, 2010 / 10:57 am

    Meagan, without going in to alot of details, I to suffer sever insomnia, and after years and years, the doctors put me on 100 mg of Trazadone I take about 45 minutes before, followed by 2mg of lorazapam, then an Ambien, some nites I still don’t sleep, but they are far less than they used to be. Talk to your doctors. I hope they find a combination that will help you, I know how miserable that can be.

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