You will notice I’ve been updating less. And I have an update written for today, but can’t be bothered to go through the final step — listing the new and updated cases on the updates page, adding new cases to the lists, etc. I can’t do anything. I don’t WANT to do anything. Lately it’s been a struggle to get even the simplest domestic tasks done. I let the laundry pile up until I had to spend a day and a half washing and drying. I left freshly dried clothes crumpled in a basket in the laundry room for over a week and now they have to be dried again because they’re so wrinkled. I let the dishes sit in the sink until I ran out of clean ones. My room is a tip and I can’t find the motivation to clean it up. Emails are sitting unanswered in my inbox and corrections need to be made and I haven’t made them. I would think of taking a break from Charley for awhile — but a break to do what? I can’t do ANYTHING.
There’s more. I can’t enjoy anything these days. I continue to read avidly, but I’m plodding diligently through my books rather than gulping them down with relish like usual. I had a bit of extra money and thought I’d buy something to cheer myself up, and went shopping online — and couldn’t find a single thing I wanted.
I bought a little notebook and made a list of tasks I need to accomplish from one day to the next. None of them are particularly onerous: “Call insurance company,” “Pay bills,” etc. And even having written them down under a big block print GOALS, I cannot do them.
I am so lazy. And so useless.
My apologies. I’m signing off. Elvis has left the building.